Monday, July 31, 2017

The Near Horizon: August 2017

I admittedly don't have a whole lot to report, although I have one cool thing to say.

First, apologies, for not having finished Episode One of DOOM yet. On top of being extremely busy, I'm having some pretty serious sleep-related problems. I think it's because I'm so fucking stressed and anxiety-riddled from all the work I've been having to do. I never thought I'd be at the point where I was *happy* to get just seven hours of sleep a night, but if I could reliably count on that, I'd be fucking thrilled.

If anyone cares, my main problem is that I can't *get* to sleep. I'm a night owl. I know the fact that I stay up very late isn't the problem, because it's been working for years now. Something's changed in the past few weeks. At first, it was that I couldn't get to sleep at my normal bedtime (4AM). I'd lay there, go into a kind of half-doze for about 20 minutes, and...then I was awake again. For like, fucking hours. I'd lay in bed for fucking HOURS trying to sleep, eventually passing out at like 7 or 8 in the morning.

A temporary solution was adjusting my schedule slightly. I found that if I went to bed after the sun came up, at around 6AM, I was so tired that I was thrilled to be laying down, and I'd go to sleep almost right away.

Then that stopped working. No idea why.

I'm doing things to try and fix this, (avoiding anything stimulating later in the day food/drink wise, stopping doing anything involving a screen before going to bed, reading), but honestly it's a total shot in the dark whether or not it'll work. Last Sunday night, tried and failed to get to sleep at a regular time, and I was so pissed off that I said FUCK IT, and decided that if my fucking brain and body was so fucking convinced that it didn't need to sleep, then I wouldn't give it ANY goddamned sleep.

If you can't tell, this is really bringing out my rage side.

I stayed up for 36 hours. Finally caved and fell asleep at 2AM Tuesday morning, slept til 1PM and felt a whole lot better. Tuesday night going into Wednesday, couldn't fucking sleep again. I was up until 9AM, had to get back up at 1PM. Thursday night went better, although it was a close call. Laid down to sleep at 5:30AM, woke up some short time later confused, exhausted and incoherent as hell. I'd been having a sort of half-dream about Fire Warrior (I'm reading it again right now), and found that I was having a bit of trouble differentiating between reality and my dream. But I could tell that I was waking back up. While I was laying there, exhausted out of my fucking mind, trying to figure this out, I apparently fell back asleep, cause next thing I knew, I was waking up to my alarm.

Since Friday it's been going...okay. I've at least fallen asleep when I've tried, but I've been staying up until 6:30AM or so because I'm so paranoid of it happening again. I'm...trying to deal with it in my own way, as I'm reluctant to put anymore pills in my body. It's not that I have a problem with pills at all, it's more that I'm just fucking paranoid. I've heard too many stories of people accidentally ODing on stuff, having lethal allergic reactions to basic stuff. I mean fuck, that's how Monty Oum from RoosterTeeth died. Then there's stuff like Serotonin Storm that can come up out of fucking nowhere from a basic psych med and KILL you. I'm aware that the chances of something like that happening are very low, but it only takes once, you know?

If it persists and I exhaust all other options, though, I'm sure I'll get there eventually.

So...yeah. I'm sure you're so thrilled that you got to read all that.

Anyway, about the story stuff.

The DOOM Chronicles has one more chapter and an epilogue, then it's going on hiatus. Then Gone Home will start posting. After that, I'm genuinely uncertain if I'll be able to return to fan fiction for several months. I really want to get The Shadow Wars wrapped up, republished, and put into paperback as soon as possible. I'm having a difficult enough time finding time to do so as it is, so I really think fan fiction needs to go on the back burner for a little bit. So that sucks.

Speaking of the Shadow Wars...Dead Ice has begun posting! It and Dead Skies should go up pretty quickly. Then the first stumbling block will hit: Dead Rain. I've got it planned out, but as for when I'll find time to actually write it? I can't say. I've begun working on it, but haven't made a great deal of progress yet. I'll make a real effort, but I can't promise anything. After that, though, lots more regular publishing. Then again I've gotta stop for Quarantine. Then smooth sailing all the way up to Into the Void, which is a total rewrite. Then, once Saturate is finished, six brand new shorts!

After that, paperbacks!

If I'm VERY lucky, and work VERY hard, I *might* be able to get paperbacks out before the end of the year, but I would absolutely not count on it.

So...sorry about all that. 2017 doesn't really seem to be my year. Partly because I'm working my ass off in an attempt to enter 2018 from a much better starting point.

Thanks for the support.


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